new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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