Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize