she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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