Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
