so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
