Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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