i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize