Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
