we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
