I am puke
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
