Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
