he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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