my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just cropdusted the office
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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