Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
