I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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