He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just puked most of my soul out..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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