I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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