your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
