Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
