if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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