Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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