i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
