Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
