yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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