No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize