the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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