woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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