i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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