dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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