she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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