Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
