she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
