Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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