suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
