Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
