Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
