I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
