I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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