Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
