But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
