I feel like I'm in dance class right now
im six kinds of drunk right now
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
