ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
