I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
