Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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