idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
