I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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