yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I am available for nakedness
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
