It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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