So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
