I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
