Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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