so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
