I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
