We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
