Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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