I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
