I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
