no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
