guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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