What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Say something about gay babies.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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