Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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