He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I skipped work to stalk him.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
