Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
