I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
