i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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