He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
