I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
