I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
