so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
be right there i have to get my cape
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
