i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
