I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
