i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize