Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dicks are not precious.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
