ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
