I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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