Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
