she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize