In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
