Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
